The Safe House: Where 007′s Dine
Without an address or any discernible clue* you are at the right location, The Safe House restaurant is one of Milwaukee’s top-secret spy finds. Located downtown near the Milwaukee river, the main entrance is down an alley kitty-corner to the historic Pabst Theater. Admittance is permitted in one of two ways (1) you know the top-secret password or (2) an “agent” requires some form of hazing (including, but not limited to: the bunny hop, hula dancing, or the chicken dance).
007 in theme, The Safe House is true to its name. Stairways, nooks, and crannies are abundant throughout the convoluted floor plan. Some tables are even set back in their own jail “cells.” Have the feeling you’re being “watched” and your sixth sense is probably right. It’s easy to lurk around, find one-way mirrors, and other opportunities for shenanigans (and it’s a fun way to pass the time while waiting for your meal to be released from the kitchen).
Ideal for elementary age kids, tweens, and teens, lunch time is the best way to avoid the bar crowd. Junior Spies (ages 12 and under) can order linguine with “top secret” sauce. Our favorite dessert is Bond’s Bomb, complete with trick candle atop a mound of mint chocolate chip ice cream. Don’t forget to drop a quarter into the pocket of your trench coat. You’ll need it to buy a secret code that lets you out the lesser-known back alley exit (it’s in the phone booth, but you didn’t hear it from me). Oh, and ladies, beware of Burt Reynolds in the lower-level wash room.
* Hint, if you find the entrance for International Exports LTD, rap quickly and step inside.
The Safe House
779 North Front St.